[Intro: Pigmeat Markham]
Hear ye, hear ye
This court is now in session
His honor Judge Pigmeat Markham residing... [Verse 1]
Hear ye, hear ye, the court of swing
Is just about ready to do that thing
I don't want no tears, I don't want no lies
Above all, I don't want no alibis
This judge is hip, and that ain't all
He'll give you time if you're big or small
Fall in line, a-this court is neat
Peace, brotha....[Chorus: the courtroom]
Uh-oh, here Come the Judge, here Come the Judge
Everybody know that he is the judgeEverybody, near and far
I'm going to Paris, to stop this war
All those kids gotta listen to me
Cause I am the judge, and you can plainly see
I want a big, round table when I get there
I won't sit down until ones are square
I'm gonna lay down the law, they bet'not budge
I bust some heads because I am the judge[Chorus: the courtroom]
He is the judge, he is the judge
Everybody know that he is the judge[Interlude 1]
*Music stops, snare drum imitates knock*Man: Who's there
Judge: Eyes
Man: 'Eyes' who?
Judge: Eyes your next-door neighbor*Courtroom laughs, Judge bangs gavel*Judge: Order, order in this courtroom
Woman: Judge, your honorship
Hi, sir
Did I hear you say "order in the court"?
Judge: Yes, I said "ORDER"
Woman: Well, I'll take two cans of beer, please*Music continues*[Chorus: the courtroom]
He is the judge, he is the judge
Everybody know that he is the judge[Verse 2]
I had a chat with Ho-Chi Minh
Took rice wine and chased my gin
Won't take long, as it missed my guess
I'll have yo outta this doggone messSend a cable to Ball & Mack
Let them know I'm coming back
Sit right there with Rock and Nicks
Teach them boys some of Pigmeat's tricks[Interlude 2]
*Music stops*Man: Uh, uh, judge, your honor Pigmeat, sir
Don't you remember me?
Judge: No, who are you boy?
Man: Why, I'm the fella that introduced you to your wife
Judge: To my wife?
Man: Yeah
Judge: LIFE, you son of a gun, you*Laughter in courtroom, music continues*[Bridge]
Come November election time
You vote your way, I'll vote mine
Cases are tied, and money get spent
Vote for Pigmeat Markham president[Hook, The Judge & the courtroom]
I am the judge, I am the judge
Everybody know that I am the judge
(We want Pigmeat, we want Pigmeat)
I am the judge, I am the judge
(Everybody know that he is the judge)
Now, everybody know I am the judge

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